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Tuesday 28 May 2013

Manners, a new perspective

I have written many times on this blog on the necessity of teaching manners to the young ones.

However, in the past week, I have developed a new perspective on manners which may help my readers understand the necessity of such.

First of all, the reason that children and teens, plus some young adults do not have manners is that their parents and even grandparents do not.

I was startled several times by over 60s people in the past few days thinking only of themselves and their needs, and being rude in public. Aggressive training for the over 60s is not a need in this country. I am also now aware of a second point.

This point revolves around the adoration of "spontaneity". Many Baby Boomers and Gen Xers here in England have this love affair with doing things without planning and without consideration. Spontaneity has become more important than organization, as it is, to some, "more sincere".

Of course, this attitude in which even sincerity is raised to the level of a virtue, which it is not, stems from a shallowness based loosely on some rebellion against order and authority. Why so many Catholic adults exhibit this attitude is not a mystery.

Third, the entitlement mentality affects the old just as much as the young. Sadly, there is a hidden class agenda here, which is the inverse of what one would think. The so-called lower classes, or working classes, now feel that they have a right to be rude to those who are more gentile because the virtues surrounding manners are no longer valued. This rebellion connects with the wannabee drive for success and status.
Catholics are not exempt.

Fourth, manners indicate weakness to some now. Gone are the days when people understand that manners are really the sign of strength. Manners come out of a code which demands humility and the honoring of the other person first, rather than the selfish clinging for place and attention. I find it so interesting, and sad, that older people have lost manners they must have learned as children and adopted the idea that humility is weakness and not a virtue. Obviously, this attitude is worldly and not Christian.

To not care about the other is a lack of charity. Charity is the mark of the saint and the exhibition of manners falls under the action of charity. To be mannerly is to love the other and respect the dignity and needs of the other.

How foreign these ideals have become in 2013.

To be continued....